I’m sitting at work on Friday. *happy little smile* It’s almost time to go home. Hmmm, what shall we do tonight? Eh, suppose we’ll work on the house a little, maybe take a walk or something like that, and I’m sure we have a movie we can watch. It will be a typical yet relaxing evening.
But who wants typical on FRIDAY?!?!?!?!
So, me thinks, “I shall call Caleb and take him out on a date.” And the man accepts ’cause he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by turning me down.
Such a loverly evening we did have. Just us two out on the town. It reminded me of when we were dating…only much, much better. On our way home we HAD to stop by to get some Chinese with the free coupons I had. Because who can pass up FREE and CHINESE?
Sometimes it’s wonderful to go home and relax and do nothing, and sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to be spontaneous. 
I love a good bargain. When I see something I reeeeeeally like or want at a reeeeeeeally good price, my palms get sweaty, my heart starts pounding and I get short of breath. Pitiful, but it’s true. I take garage saling seriously. Anytime I need to buy something (I was going to say other than the basics, but, no, including the basics) I scrounge around on the internet looking for coupon codes, discounts, where to buy it the cheapest, etc. I probably spend all that money I’m saving in the time it takes to find those savings. Oh well. I like it.
But something else that gets me excited just as much is selling stuff – stuff that is sitting around the house, unused; stuff that is worthless until someone pipes up and says, “I’ll take it.” Due to my schedule, having a garage sale is not practical, and I really don’t like having garage sales, just going to them. Thus Ebay and Craigslist and Amazon have been very dear friends to me for many years. Oh, and NOW, I have discovered the joy of virtual garage sales on Facebook. Oh, glory! Oh, sweet joy! I post something and then watch for responses like a little kid waiting for Christmas. “For reals? You want MY old, tired out, used curtains? You want that ladder that’s been sitting in the back yard? You’ll pay me for those dishes that have been buried for years in an unlabeled box?”
Excuse me as I leave to go dig through more boxes and closets and deep, dark hidden places for stuff to sell…
Last night, the day had come to a close, and we were drifting off to sleep when Caleb quietly asked,
“Are you happy, baby?”
“Mmmmm, yes, wildly happy,” I replied.
What is so special about that little exchange? We are newlyweds. Of course I’m happy! Unfortunately, it was not always so, for a couple months after our marriage, Caleb, frustrated and confused, stated, “I just don’t know why you’re not happy.” And neither did I.
Generally, life was good, but often, I was down. On April 11, I wrote in my journal:
“I am not happy.
I should be. I have a wonderful life; I have an amazing husband; life is good. But I don’t enjoy it. There are moments of goodness, times of pleasure, but overall, I’m frustrated, tired, grumpy, hard to please. Why? Why, why, why?”
Yes, there were several valid reasons.
I was tired. I hadn’t been used to going to work and being responsible for a house, for shopping, cooking, cleaning, renovating and all the million and one things necessary in married life. Though Caleb and I shared all the responsibilities, my schedule was wild, and I hadn’t had the chance to figure out a routine.
I was desperately busy. I was trying to do it all, do it all well, and get it done right away. I like things perfect. Life is not perfect. Therefore, I was stressed.out. I wanted to enjoy the destination but not the journey. But, really, life is 99% journey.
I was dealing with wild hormones. Yes, this was a biggy, a significant biggy, a biggy not to be overlooked. Different reasons, but my hormones were out of control, and Caleb and I both felt it (he just didn’t get the cause).
But aside from all that, my life in March and April to my life in May has not changed all that much (except for said hormones which have settled down…most of the time). Why then have I gone from “not happy” to “happy,” and does it matter in the whole scheme of life? Well, to Caleb it certainly matters, and it matters to me. So what is the difference?
Choice.
Life is a choice.
I was letting life choose my mood. It could change minute by minute based on what was happening. And then something changed. God put into my mind to write about one daily blessing in my life. From that point on, I looked forward with great anticipation to writing about that one, simple thing. I started looking at the blessings in my life rather than the struggles, the difficulties, the poor-me things. Because of my personality, I severely limit myself to just.one.thing. The problem is that I have so many things to choose! It became like a game. A game of seeing blessings.
Am I always “happy” now? No, I still have bad moods (though not as many). There are still days of just being bleh. But even those days are a blessing, for they make all the many good days stand out that much more.
Life is good. I must choose to see that goodness. And I am so thankful that I can tell my dear, sweet husband, “Yes, I am happy.”
We’ve thought about it; we’ve wished; we’ve spoken of our good intentions, yet it hadn’t happened since before we were married. However, tonight was different. It was if God cleared a spot in the evening, as if He kept making more time despite our efforts to come up with something else to do. Tonight, we sat down and studied God’s Word together.
Why is it that something so “simple” is so difficult to actually do? Why is it that something so beneficial is often so neglected? Well, to answer my own questions, I believe it’s plain ol’ selfishness and short-sightedness and “busyness.” But tonight, we sat. Caleb read aloud. I read aloud. We questioned a portion of a verse that we had read dozens of times but failed to see. We studied the full chapter in the Bible and looked up cross references. We discussed the implication and meaning. We didn’t come to some great theological conclusion, but it was a simple time to grow closer to God…together.
Will we do this every day from here on out? I wish, but, no, I am sure we won’t. And that’s ok. God doesn’t seek a spirit of perfection in us, He seeks a spirit of willingness, of making feeble attempts that grow throughout a lifetime. Does this give Caleb and me a handy excuse each time we don’t take time to study His Word? No. But it gives us strength to keep on keeping on even when we fall short over and over. And as a perfectionist, that gives me great encouragement for the future.
Several years ago I heared a conservative, Christian make the snide comment, “Well, that’s an American for you…” I have heard this type of comment many times, sadly many times from Christians. I know what they mean; I understand they also are good, patriotic citizens; but I wholeheartedly disagree with their sarcastic perspective. Right then and there as I sat in that Bible study, I wrote the following retort that I wished I could have said…
We are American.
What does that mean?
Many people disparage the idea; it is spoken with slight disgust and small contempt. These people hear “American” and immediately think of large houses, greedy, wanting more, buy now, don’t wait, step on the little man on the way to the top, big and fat with wealth and food, godless, believers of evolution, forgetting Christian heritage, politically hopeless, a “has been” Christian nation, spiritually wasted, party hardy, no thought for the future, relationally poor, possessions, enjoying wealth with no thought for the suffering.
Yes, I am American. But proud of it.
The Pilgrims – those who left home, country, friends, family; bore sickness, poverty, war, death all for their future and their children’s future.
The Patriots – those who left family and safety, possessions and comfort, friends and power all for the future and their children’s future.
The Pioneers – those who left the East’s riches for a better life. They were hardy and strong, lived in houses of dirt, fought for home and family. Months of hot, dusty, uncomfortable wagons, heating their homes with manure.
The survivors of the Great Depression and Dust Bowl – living on little, making do. Christmases of fruit and nuts, a can-do attitude.
The Greatest Generation – years of separation from husbands, friends, lovers, brothers, fathers, sons. Men facing a cruel death in battle, huddling in wet and cold fox holes with bombs screaming overhead, a buddy killed next to you.
The Soldier – boys killing, boys fighting…for the oppressed, the helpless and broken. Japan, Germany and France. The Philippines, China, England, Italy. Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East. Iraq and Afghanistan. Lives have been offered, fortunes have been given to free, to help, to lift up the downtrodden.
Has America changed since 1776? Of course. Do we face spiritual opposition? Absolutely. Are we still the greatest nation who gives its sons and daughters for others’ freedom?
Yes, that is an American for you. And we should thank God everyday for such an incredible blessing.
OneDailyBlessing 